Pacific Northwest Sculptors

It’s easy to lie to someone who trusts you.
It’s easy to make someone (or a country) look foolish is deception is your intent.

David Cerny’s  giant sculpture to “celebrate?” the Czech Republic’s presidency of the European Union is an 8 ton, 350,000 euros, sophomoric joke.

Member nations are reduced to the most obvious visual cliche: Germany as a swastika, Italy as a soccer field, Romania as a Dracula theme park, Bulgaria as a series of pit toilets. It goes on….

Not very clever. It seems his creativity went into making up artist persona’s and fake websites. The result is notoriety for him, a sculpture that was up for less than a month, enormous waste of materials, bad feelings and embarrassment for the Czech government and the European Union..this too goes on.

This is ART?

“Some of the Characteristics you see in psychopath are lying, manipulation, the ability to deceive, feelings of grandiosity and callousness toward their victims,” says Gregg O McCrary a former FBI special agent. He was talking about Bernard Madoff, but the same could be said of David Cerny and his sculpture.

Cardboard Nutcracker

Every one may not agree on what kind of art they like, but most agree that sculpture is an art form.

How many would consider sculpture as community or ritual?

I’ve been making a New Year’s Scape Goat for the past 29 years. It’s a large sculpture made out of old chairs, cardboard, and things that are too good to throw away but aren’t good enough to keep. Packed with fireworks and set it on fire, the yearly rite allows friends and strangers to gather together on the last night of the year, think about what they’d like to call into their lives or let go of in the coming year. Anyone who wants can write their wishes, prayers, resolutions and place them on the sculpture. Some are hidden secretly, others are tied or taped to the biggest firework, right up front.

Religions have temples and rituals to remember the intangible because it’s difficult to keep the invisible in mind. There has to be some form or container to ground the remembering. That’s why if you follow some belief system it’s called a practice. I make no spiritual claims for the New Years Goat, but I have noticed that this annual event is as powerful as it is fun. It’s a tradition as old as humanity to gather together in the winter in front of a fire. It invites people in. Some help create the sculpture, everyone adds to it with their wishes and their participation.

The fireworks ignite the ritual with a chemical excitement and their noise and fountains of color. They also bring the unexpected and an element of danger. Everyone is alert. What’s amazing is to feel the transformation from the excitement and noise to a tangible sense of group calm as the fire catches and burns. Talk dies down with people standing outside in the middle of the night, in the midst of winter. In the silence of the fire, If we’re lucky, someone will notice the sounds of geese flying overhead.

To misquote Lily Tomlin’s Trudy from the Search for Intelligent Life, “the burning is soup, the gathering together is art.”

 
Northern Territories in Rebellion!

By George Heath

On December 10th the PNWS ministry of military affairs received word that the Northern colonies had declared independence.  In the best interests of the Empire and for the good of the Northern Territories themselves, we immediately dispatched the PNWSS Frigate “Good Cheer” to deal with the deteriorating situation.  With 24 18 pounders on the gun deck, 6 more on the main, complemented by two 36 pound carronades we expected our excellent ship to make short work of those in rebellion.  Orders to Captain Gracewood were to take the Crittenden locks, subdue both the Viking Fire and Fremont foundries, as well as Fort Magrath then proceed to Elliot bay and take by any means necessary the Wastweet Studios.

After a rough but otherwise uneventful 5-day passage Gracewood reached Salmon Bay and dispatched a company of marines to take the aforesaid locks.  Proceeding overland Major Gregg was able to achieve complete surprise bursting into the control room while the lock tender, Sgt. “Toothless” Osterberg was at his lunch of salt cod and lutefisk puree’.  When confronted by these forces the sergeant wisely yielded.   His only comment being ” Ya shure, u betcha.  U vant some?”  Not a shot was fired.  Leaving two men to guard the control shack, Gregg proceeded overland to Viking Fire to lay in wait.

Meanwhile, Captain Gracewood ordered the boats lowered and under the cover of darkness our stoutest men had manned the oars and towed the Good Cheer to and through the locks.  With a midshipmen at the crosstrees directing fire, Gracewood opened fire with the carronades* reducing in a matter of minutes the foundry and the surrounding three blocks to smoldering rubble.  Unfortunately the rabble within were able to evade Gregg’s marines and made their way to the Fremont Foundry in time to raise the alarm.

On hearing the news Colonel Magrath knew he had them.  6 cannon destined for a war memorial had recently been cast and chased and he had no shortage of cannon fodder.  This was in the form of several thousand leftover bronze fingers and toes from a somewhat miscalculated commission.  Using block and tackle he raised the cannon to the roof pointing three at the ship canal and three down Leary Way to deal with Gregg’s marines.

Having negotiated the locks and reached the end of Salmon Bay, Gracewood called in the boats and dispatched a crew to either side of the ship canal to pull the Good Cheer along by means of hawsers.  He had not, however, counted on anything other than small arms fire and hearty insults from either Magrath or the Fremont foundry.  He was somewhat disconcerted then when a number of forefingers suddenly appeared embedded in the mizzenmast followed immediately by a crack of thunder.  Each pointed back the way he had come.  Being a religious man Gracewood took this as a sign from God and ordered an immediate about face.

Major Gregg, not being a religious man, nonetheless came to a similar decision when confronted with a variety of toes speeding by in excess of the speed of sound.  He beat a hasty retreat. After a hearty but somewhat repulsive lunch at the lock with Sven – pureed lutefisk does not keep well – Gregg and his Marines rejoined the Good Cheer and all proceeded out the bay and around West Point towards Elliot Bay where perhaps they might find a softer target. 

It was well known that Wastweet Studios, being of a peaceful nature, had only light defenses and was quite close to the East Waterway of Harbor Island. This put it well within range of the carronades.  For those reasons it should have been easily taken down.  That might have been the case but for an observant guard at the Olympic Sculpture Park spotting the Good Cheer as it rounded the south end of Magnolia Bluff.  Even though there is no official connection between the Seattle Art Museum and Wastweet Studios the former does get testy when foreign vessels of war invade its space.  By the time Gracewood had reached the mouth of the East Waterway SAM was ready to put to sail its 74-gun ship of the line Blue Moon.  Put to sail is perhaps too strong a term as the Blue Moon was docked at the Coast Guard Museum right at the entrance to the East Waterway.  All they really had to do was give her a big shove backwards and drop the gunports.  The Good Cheer was trapped!  Not relishing the prospect of 37 of anything passing through his ship from stern to stem Gracewood ordered the colors struck.  Within an hour Gracewood was offering his sword to President Wastweet.  “Don’t be silly”, she said.  “Lets go get Chinese”. 

 * A carronade is a cannon similar to but heavier than a land-based mortar.  It is capable of lobbing a very heavy shot but is limited to a short range.